And so, there's this thing...: July 2006

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Le weekend...

People complain that my blog isn't topical enough or that it offers no political commentary. To those people, I say, FUCK OFF. Immediately.

There are some lovely photos of me on-line. You just need to know where to look. In a bid to preserve my fast waning anonymity, I am not going to tell you where they are. Those of you who need to know, can ask me. Those of you who merely want a photograph of me to jerk-off over, can ask me too. Everyone else can kiss my brown ring.

On Thursday, I had dinner at E & S's place with the German, Christian (who also happens to be Christian) and Corin (probably a heathen). Photos available on-line if you know where to look. Same rules apply as above. Dinner was, as usual delicious. The conversation flowed and the booze was plentiful. E & S are moving to the States for a while (7 months?) and I am thrilled, simply thrilled about this. I will miss them of course, but I'll get over that pretty damn quickly. Out of sight out of mind and all that. But, BUT, I'll be able to visit them in the States. Please, please, please move somewhere good.

Woke up with a hangover on Friday but put on a brave face and made it through the day. Met up with Alexandra and some others later that evening for some wine and chat. Was accosted by some quite attractive chavs in High Street who wanted to take my photo. Not sure why. But I'm hoping it's being used for masturbatory purposes. I was wearing the black leather fuck-me necklace thing, so I live in hope.

Currently listening to 'Future' by Cut Copy.

I was awoken on Saturday by a headache and the need to empty my heaving bladder. That done, I wandered around the house in just my pants (underwear, for my American readers), something I am rarely afforded the opportunity to do. Faffed around a bit then wandered into town with my gym kit to have lunch with James. Went to Hall but it was shut so decided to go to Alpha Bar in the Covered Market. Sat in Exeter Fellow's Garden but the thunder was ominous so we legged it to Blackwells for coffee. It PISSED down for about an hour.

There was a deluge, a veritable DELUGE. The heavens opened up and the wrath of God was rained down upon us. I knew the Lord had a sense of humour when the fu cking animal rights protesters scattered mid-chant to seek shelter. That'll teach the fuckers. I hope they develop pneumonia and are offered the choice of either a slow and painful death or drugs which have been tested on animals. How ironic would that be? Oh, how I'd laugh and laugh...
Some bint tried to give me a flier with a picture of a mangled monkey on it but I just gave her a withering glare. She scurried off...She shouldn't have been within 50 yards of me anyway as I'm covered by the 50 meter exclusion zone. She's lucky I was feeling generous otherwise I'd have reported her to one of the HOT policemen on horses nearby. Stupid misguided bitch.

Went to a lezzer's farewell drinks at Magdalen on Saturday evening. Chatted to some people but legged it around quarter to one for a booty call. Erm, I mean to have a drink with a friend.

Met up with Alexandra on Sunday for coffee and a nose around ChristChurch where she is teaching Introduction to Philosophy to 12 Americans. Her rooms are lovely. Panelled in dark wood, separate bedroom, a couple of sofas, beautifully carved built-in bookcases. ChCh: shit college but lovely rooms.

Met up again with my 'friend' from the night before and had a walk around town. Then went home to await the Czech, who duly arrived bearing some quite delicious wine. Got tipsy, got naked, got sticky...

Now listening to: 'In Manus Tuas I' composed by Thomas Tallis. Sublime. Plainsong is beautiful.


Awoke with a terrible hangover and wandered around the house naked this time. It's the perfect cure for a hangover.

Some new bint was supposed to start in the office today but she hasn't arrived. Start as you mean to go on, I always say...we'll have some sport with her, let me tell you.

The woman across the office has been picking her nose for about 30 minutes. She's broken her own record.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Hilarious...

Reminiscent of the days when 'Saturday Night Live' was good.

Procrastination tool...

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Sex tourism...

Dear God. I've become one of those fat, common men who go to Thailand to pick-up young boys. You know the ones I mean....the ones called 'Barry' but who prefer to be called 'Bazza', order Champagne in bars and think Harrods is well classy. Or those older Sharons who go to Africa specifically to meet young black men.The tarts who don't realise that they are just being used for their foreign currency and their UK passports. Okay, maybe I haven't quite sunk that low but when in Rome (or the Czech Republic) do as Romans do and in Rome, everyone has sex with reckless abandon. Geneva was much the same. The amount of sex people were having is mind-boggling. I'm surprised people can walk at all.
The only problem with the Czech Rep and Geneva is the people. Firm, toned, tanned bodies but catastrophic faces. Body by Baywatch, face by Crimewatch, infact...

My liver hurts. I have HUGE blisters on my feet and, AND I have sun-stroke. It's not easy being me but it certainly a lot of fun. Don't just take my word for it. Ask anyone.

It's been whirlwind, a veritable whirlwind of social activity since I last posted anything. Since I last posted:
-I have become increasing more addicted to facebook (so much better than myspace)
-I went to a 4th of July barbecue (not the real thing as there was no watermelon, biscuit, chitlins' and grits etc... AND it was on July 3
-I have been to Prague with HOT Bescher
-I have been to Geneva to visit Alex
-I have bonded with a homosexualist couple about whom I have been having dirty thoughts
-I have been to Green College Ball
-I have cut my hair several times
-I have perfected the Perfect Manhattan (again)
-The Czech and I have been engaging in sexual acrobatics
-I have become the king of table football
-I've been applying for jobs
-I have been to see a mortgage adviser (jumped up little shit with 2 O-levels, wearing a polyester suit, smelling of Lynx)
-I have realised that property in Jericho is alarmingly expensive
-I have seriously been considering moving to London, but then came to my senses. Who the hell would want to live in London? Not me...
-I have been told that I have a 'spiky personality'(!)
-I have been working on my abs and I am almost pleased with them. But not quite.
-I have discovered the joy of running. Admittedly on a treadmill, but directly below an air-conditioning outlet


Anyway, enough about me. How are you?

Currently listening to: Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus

Currently wearing: white shirt, jeans, flip-flops but no underwear. Going commando is very liberating. And what's a little chafing, afterall?

I'm not really pleased with my abs.