AAaaarrrggghhh...I am so damn clever...

Shit, shit, SHIT!

Evil Bosslady's even more evil bosslady, who was my evil bosslady last year came into my office. Usually she knocks before entering but the door was open and I was happily blogging away. 'What's 'blogger? ' she asked as I tried in vain to close the window before she saw it. 'Doesn't look very work-related.'

No fear though. I looked her straight in the eye and said 'oh, it is work-related. A friend of mine does the same job I do at UCL and he keeps me abreast of what's going on there.' I think she bought it. She LAPPED it up. She was BEGGING me to tell her more. I resisted though.

She was also wearing the most hideous thing ever. I was shocked. Usually she power dresses and has commented on my 'casual' approach to dressing for work.

Damn I'm good.

I'll probably get my P45 later today...

The man from Pickfords came again yesterday and put sticky labels on my chair, desk, monitor, keyboard and mouse. How the hell am I supposed to use the mouse with a bloody great sticker obstructing the ball underneath? Moron.
Anyway, as he was putting stickers on everything, he casually mentioned that the stickers aren't very sticky and I'll find that they come off so he'll secure them with tape. Now, bearing in mind that a HUGE part of Pickfords' job is to put stickers on your stuff so they can move it accurately and efficiently does anyone else think it's beyond stoooopid that they have crap stickers to do this? Stickers are an integral part of their business. It's like a bathroom without toilet paper.

Currently listening to Sven-G-Englar by Sigur Ros.


http://aneedlessdistractionforme.blogspot.com/ is FINALLY gracing Oxford with his presence this weekend.
Not sure I can be bothered though. I might be washing my hair.

What a freak...

Stumbled across this freak's Blog today. Thought he was being ironic, but apparently not. SCARY. I won't tell you the name of the Blog as I don't want to be done for some heinous breach of Blog-etiquette. Blogiquette?

"Responsible BloggingI take the stand that as Christians, we must be responsible in our speech and actions. This applies to Blogs as well.We are injuncted to love our neighbours as ourselves. To love is to act deliberately in the best interest of the other party. Our neighbours are all who are reasonably proximate enough to be affected by our speech and action (or lack thereof). Clearly, anyone who read our blogs are our neighbours, as they can be affected by what you post online.As such, we must always be cautious that when we interact with our neighbours, the following applies:1. For Christians, we are to interact in an encouraging and loving manner to build up in their faith.2. For Non-Christians, we are to interact in a wise and godly manner to glorify God and share the Gospel.Hence, in a Christian's Blog, one must also be cautious in what they say (see James about taming the tongue). It is not a place to exercise a freedom of speech. It is a place to exercise your responsibility in speech. So we need to encourage other Christians instead of simply listing your grouses and affecting the audience. As for non-Christians, who are always looking for laugh fodder or an excuse to malign Christians or to remain as non-Christians, our blogs must glorify God and bring the Gospel of Jesus to them.As such, I find some of the youths' blogs to be extremely irresponsible in simply stating whatever that come to their heads, under the banner of "I write what I want, if you don't like what you see shoot" or "I am exercising my universal freedom of speech" and the like. (I shall not delve into they alleged freedom for I do not think that such assertion hold any water.) It is irresponsible towards both Christians and non-Christians alike. More so, it is self-ish and self-seeking and self-righteous and self-justifying to simply blog without considering consequences. When so much "self" is involved, it's hardly loving anymore as it is not about others.Even criticisms of others fails the "plank in the eye test" as expounded by Jesus in Matthew 7:3-5. "They don't sing!" - do you worship God with your lives? "They don't take God's word seriously" - do you obey God's Word in every aspect of your lives? "They don't welcome newcomers!" - do perpetuate cliques and refuse to let others in your tightly knit group of friends? Please remove the tree trunk in your eye before you proceed to remove that splint in your friend's!May the leaders be patient and wise to instruct them gently."

Mondays suck

The weekend slips away sooooo quickly.

Had a meeting with evil Bosslady this morning. Apparently, we should be having weekly 'catch-up' sessions. I foolishly agreed. She said, 'how about every Monday morning? What time is good for you?' I suggested 10am. 'Is that the earliest you get in?' She asked. Bitch. I'm at my desk at 8:30 most days. I've decided I'm going to send her an email at 8:30 every morning so she knows I'm here before she is. The problem is, what to send? I can only ask so many times if 'we're still on for our weekly meeting today' before she begins to think I'm a moron and she's made a huge mistake in hiring me. Anyways, we decided that our meetings should be at 9:30 every Monday morning. We had our first one today. It lasted all of 7 minutes and she was pleased with my work. If there is one thing Oxbridge teaches you, it's how to talk a load of shit in meetings. The only hitch during the meeting was that I started to weep. I suffer from hay-fever, which usually starts much later but this year, started today. At precisely 9:30. My eyes really water from my allergies (pollen, ragweed etc...) and they itch rather a lot. Anyway, shortly after I sat down and we exchanged pleasantries, I felt a tear forming in the corner of my eye. I tried to discreetly tilted my head to one side in a bid to prevent it dripping down my cheek. This, inevitably led to the question 'what ARE you doing?' from evil Bosslady. I thought it best to explain the tear situation in case she was horrible to me during the meeting and thought she's reduced me to tears.

Anyway, go see a film called The Edukators. It's a German film starring the buy from Good Bye Lenin and 2 other quite attractive people. German cinema is excellent. Almost as good as French cinema.

Those of you who read this and know me, you'll know about the whole bodily fluids in the bin incident of last autumn. The grandly named 'Facilities Manager' who asked me to be more considerate of the cleaning staff came to have a look at my office this morning with two rather attractive Pickfords chaps. My section is moving to a new building up the road which I'm not terribly pleased about as my commute to work will be 8 minutes instead of the current 6, but will mean that I get swish new furniture and a flat screen monitor AND tea and coffee making facilities. So anyway, this bint came to see how much stuff I had in my office and I noticed she kept trying to look in my bin. Presumably to make sure there were no bodily fluids in it. Unfortunately, I decided to water the plants in my office this morning and there was some spillage which I mopped up with some paper-towels which I then deposited in the bin. God only knows what the cleaners and Facilities Manager woman will have to say about that. For those of you that don't know, in a bid to save money on bin liners, the cleaners stick their hands into the bins to remove the rubbish which they then deposit in large black bags. Why they don't just tip the bin into the large black bag whilst holding the bin liner in place is beyond me.

Does anyone else suffer from constipation after having been on a plane?

Currently listening to Bermuda Highway by My Morning Jacket.

I'm tearful for all the wrong reasons.

It's raining in Oxford. It never rains in Brideshead Revisited. Just ask my friend (
http://aneedlessdistractionforme.blogspot.com/) who is a whore for Brideshead Revisited.
This will scupper my champagne and strawberries sitting under a tree I had planned for this afternoon.

Still no closer to being a smoker. Damn.

My administrator (she doesn't like being called a secretary) wanted to know if I am married or not as she wants to know what title to use on my new business cards. I just looked at her and shook my head. More in sorrow than in anger. Someone very capable out there has been deprived of a job because this moron got it instead. I was going to mention that my penis precludes a change of title on marriage but decided against it.


Now listening to Je t'aime...Moi Non Plus by Serge Gainsbourg. That pervert.

Travels

It's been a while since I've posted anything on here. I had visions of me at my desk blogging away and neglecing the ever increasing piles of work evil Bosslady gives me. Anyway, I've been on holiday snce April 3. NYC, Washington DC and now Toronto.
For those of you who haven't been to NYC, don't bother. It's like, waaaaayyy over-rated. It's full of skanky people trying to get to skanky places on the skanky subway. There is a smell which permeates the city. The smell of death. DEATH.

That may be a bit of an exaggeration but it does stink over there. I was staying with a friend who was at Green College last year and is now working in Washington DC but who has access to an amazingingly swish flat in the Upper West Side, directly opposite Columbia University. Our days consisted of doing touristy stuff during the day, eating huge numbers of bagles and pizza slices (not much culture though, thankfully) and then get absolutely wasted, plastered, shit-faced, hammered (I could go on...) at night. We went to such classy establishments as Splash, XL, Park, Hiro and the wonderfuly named Cock. Cock has to be experienced. Mere words alone cannot describethe horror, the filth, the utter DIRTYNESS of the place. I had quite a pleasant time though. Bumped into a mate of my housemate's boyfriend and his friend who were a good laugh, as well as loads of other people from England. It was the same everythere we went, we'd be tripping over the English. This is no bad thing though as we'd get together and have a giggle about the land of white socks and fat people. The whole white socks issue is peculiar. I find then strangely sexy and yet I'd never wear them. There is something very simple, conservative and innocent about them. And I will never get the whole Abercrombie & Fitch/GAP look. Baggy shapeless clothes topped off with (bottomed out with?) a pair of blindingly white socks.

Anyway, NYC = good. Washington DC = AMAZING.

For the first time since arriving in the UK, I can honestly see myself living somewhere else. Washington is the right size, the Metro is the cleanest and most efficient I've ever experienced, the archiecture is beautiful, there is lots to do and see and the locals are very firendly and not too hickish.
I met some interesting people in DC. One of whom lives 5 minutes from me in Oxford. I also met some complete and utter freaks.
Another thing I liked aout NYC/DC is that I got asked for ID everywhere, from buying wine in a suprmarket to trying to get into a bar. It was amazing. I thought at first that bouncer man was joking but no, he was deadly serious. It was very flattering...


Now I'm in Toronto (where I grew up) and it's really fucking dire. The bit in which my parents live is quite clinical and is dominated by luxury highrises and shopping malls. It doesn't get much more different than Oxford. Ah Oxford...how I miss you. I love going on holiday but I think I love coming back home (which is what Oxford is to me) almost as much.

Next holiday is to India in November. I'm quite looking forward to it but am bracing myself both mentally and rectally for the dysentry.

Don't drink the water, don't drink the water, don't drink the water, Don't drink the water, don't drink the water, don't drink the water,Don't drink the water, don't drink the water, don't drink the water,Don't drink the water, don't drink the water, don't drink the water,Don't drink the water, don't drink the water, don't drink the water, Don't drink the water, don't drink the water, don't drink the water,Don't drink the water, don't drink the water, don't drink the water, Don't drink the water, don't drink the water, don't drink the water,Don't drink the water, don't drink the water, don't drink the water,Don't drink the water, don't drink the water, don't drink the water, Don't drink the water, don't drink the water, don't drink the water,Don't drink the water.

Currently listening to Supergirl by Reamon.

Must speed date...