Mysterious...

It seems, there is a phantom shitter at work. Although, it would probably be more accurate to say that there is a phantom non-flusher at work.

The last few times I've been to urinate, there's been a turd floating in the bowl. No loo-roll, just a turd. Today's was particularly nasty as it had started to deteriorate and break up so the water had turned brown. I imagine this is what our tap water looks like before it's been cleaned.

Anyway, I can't imagine any of the people I work with leaving unflushed turds (and walking around with unwiped, shitty arses). My great fear is that THEY will think it's ME. Most people who know me well (and now, presumably, people who don't know me well...) will attest to the fact that I am exclusively a pre-shower-dumper. Post shower dumping is wrong. I never do it and look down on people that do. Freaks.

The strange thing is, this isn't the first time I've encountered shit in strange circumstances. When I was at Cambridge, there was a phantom defecator at work in the UL (University Library). More than once, I came a cross a decomposing turd amongst the stacks. There are parts of the UL, which I'm sure, haven't been used for ages. I often used to go to those bits as they were quiet and my friends and I used to toss a frisbee around when we needed a break from work.

The UL is also a notorious cruising area. There were specific books in specific sections with slips of paper in them. You were meant to specify a date and time to do NAUGHTY things. I've actually caught people with their pants down. Not really as erotic or as fun as it sounds. And it's always gays. Do breeders not get the urge amongst the books?

The UL is verily a scat lovers PARADISE.

I've not heard of such things happening in the Bodleian. Damn...

Currently listening to: Sanctus from Mass in G by Schubert.

Currently regretting: hanging my washing out to dry. It's PISSING down in Oxford.

Currently mourning: Desperate Housewives (well, not yet but the finale is this evening. Then I'll mourn. Where does one get black armbands in Oxford?).

Currently revisiting: the rank toasted panini roasted vegetable and goat's cheese thing I had for lunch. It's repeating on me...

Now listening to: Everything Will Flow by Suede. Any fans out there?

Currently wearing: my new jeans. I look HOT. Not really...
Currently looking forward to: A night out in London on Friday. Oxford is okay, but it's, like...soooooooooo provincial. But I love it.