Short working weeks are the best working weeks...

Fuck. The long weekend FLEW by. But it was a good one.

Spent Saturday and Sunday in London where I spent an inordinately long time in Selfridges. Selfridges is like, the BEST shop in the WORLD. If you have the money. Which I don't. I did purchase:

1 bottle of scent
1 pair of jeans
1 shirt
1 newspaper

I am now even MORE fragrant than I usually am. Rejoice good people, rejoice.

Anyway, met up with Em in London on Saturday (but not Ed. Woof). Ed is a dog, silly. It was HOT.

We ate, we drank, we made merry. But not in a DIRTY way.


Okay, so... I ate a load of pickled beetroot yesterday and then urinated BUT I DIDN'T flush! My housemate screamed when she went to the loo after me. She's a medical student. You'd think the stupid bint would have known better. She was all concerned and asked if she should call an ambulance. The larks and highjinks didn't end there though. I accidentally locked her out of the house. She was in the garden but I didn't know. I wandered into the kitchen to make a nice cup of lapsang suchong (which tastes like piss, I don't know why I drink it) and saw that the door was unlocked. 'Stupid bitch' I muttered. My housemates are always leaving the door unlocked. I wouldn't mind so much if thieves and rapists were attractive, but sadly, they never are. Anyway, I locked the door and went out for a few hours.

She wasn't impressed when I came back to find her banging on the window. Oops.

Today, I had a lovely lunch at Brasenose. Brasenose Hall has a carving of a unicorn with a huge boner. It was magical. Lunch was very pleasant. Quorn is one of my favourite things in the world. That alone, is enough to keep me in this country. Unless WASHINGTON DC has Quorn. That would be too HOT to even contemplate. I'm getting excited. VERY excited.

I'd be grateful if people who've had colonic irrigation would share their experiences with me. It would be the best thing ever. Well, second only to Quorn.
I saw a documentary on television a while ago about this http://www.guardian.co.uk/weekend/story/0,3605,663391,00.html

The clinic is in Thailand but I obviously wouldn't go there. I mean, why would I, when Harley Street is a mere train journey away? The Hale Clinic will stick a tube up the shitter for a mere £60. Priness Diana used to go to the Hale Clinic. That's hot.

Currently listening to: Common People by Pulp.

Currently appear: 'well turned out' according to Bescher. Bescher's HOT.

Currently wearing: flip-flops at work. Oooohhh...controversial.

Got drunk on port last night. Not nice.

Now listening to: The Tide Is High by Blondie.


People who need people are really fucking annoying.