Heavenly Host...
I am such a good host. It's not easy being such a good host. Making sure the food is delicious, glasses are topped up etc...Being the solicitous host is terribly hard work. And thankless. Completely thankless. Sure, the guests have a good time but what do I get out of it? I get to arm-wrestle Big Straight Phil (BSP) and come away with a few wank fantasies...
I ask you...why do I do it? Huh? Why?
On Saturday, BSP, Morven, Alexandra, Tom and Guy came around for supper. I had a marvellous time. Even though Morven gets a bit randy when she's pissed. I've lost count of the number of times I had to say "No Morven. I do not want to have sexual relations with you. It's Phil, Tom and Guy I'm interested in, not you". But she was having none of it. She's relentless. And the number of times she just happened to brush against me...I felt dirty and used.
Speaking of relentless, had to endure sangria and cheese on Friday night. Fortnately, Sophia and Ben Van D were also in attendence. I made friends with 2 lovely females (Harriet and Grace) and got the hell out of there as quicky as I could without arousing suspicion. And certainly without being aroused.
Spent Sunday lounging around New College Gardens with Phil and Tom. I'd rather have had Guy but Tom came instead. It was better for him than it was for me. We invented a new game called Flip-Flop Flicking. It is a game of great skill and requires hours of daily training for many years before one becomes proficient in it. We were joined by James G and headed over to Quod for coffee. All the waiters at Quod are of the homosexualist variety. That is, they like to undulge in a bit of cockplay every now and then. I know this because I read a lot.
Currently listening to: Lost and Found by Clap Your Hands Say Yeah!
I ask you...why do I do it? Huh? Why?
On Saturday, BSP, Morven, Alexandra, Tom and Guy came around for supper. I had a marvellous time. Even though Morven gets a bit randy when she's pissed. I've lost count of the number of times I had to say "No Morven. I do not want to have sexual relations with you. It's Phil, Tom and Guy I'm interested in, not you". But she was having none of it. She's relentless. And the number of times she just happened to brush against me...I felt dirty and used.
Speaking of relentless, had to endure sangria and cheese on Friday night. Fortnately, Sophia and Ben Van D were also in attendence. I made friends with 2 lovely females (Harriet and Grace) and got the hell out of there as quicky as I could without arousing suspicion. And certainly without being aroused.
Spent Sunday lounging around New College Gardens with Phil and Tom. I'd rather have had Guy but Tom came instead. It was better for him than it was for me. We invented a new game called Flip-Flop Flicking. It is a game of great skill and requires hours of daily training for many years before one becomes proficient in it. We were joined by James G and headed over to Quod for coffee. All the waiters at Quod are of the homosexualist variety. That is, they like to undulge in a bit of cockplay every now and then. I know this because I read a lot.
Currently listening to: Lost and Found by Clap Your Hands Say Yeah!
posted by OrlandoCatastrophic at Thursday, August 03, 2006
2 Comments:
The phrase "It was better for him than it was for me" appears with a suprising regularity on this here blog.
Lord I'm fucking bored. I thought I share it with you.
I know...I know...it's just that things invariably ARE better for the 'other' person than they are for me. Take, for example, conversation, dinner, sex, rectal examinations...I could go on...
All of these things I could do with great enjoyment by myself but for some reason, no doubt altruistic, I feel I must do these things in company.
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