You shall go to the Ball...
I wish I'd saved my £120 and stayed home watching porn.
The Ball was good but not great. For that price, you'd have gotten something wwwaaaayyy better in Cambridge. Plastic champagne glasses?! I mean, what is the point? We might as well have knocked back Styrofoam cups of the stuff.
Went to the Ball with Sophia on one arm and James up my ass. Not really, but it felt like it. That Sophia has a really tight grip.
The food was crap and ran out quickly, there WAS lots of booze though but nowhere to sit and you know a Ball isn't very good when the bumper cars (dodgems?) and the fireworks are the highlight of the night. The musical act was Pharrell Williams who was surprisingly well mannered and polite. You know, given that he's, erm, you know...
There was also some band whose name I can't remember and they were good too. Really fucking hot...
Anyway, survivors' photo was at 6am, staggered home with my Molton Brown goodie bag and collapsed in a heap, looking resplendent but spent.
Met up with Mirek that evening for a stroll and a snooze beneath at tree in New College and made plans to meet up the following day which we did. Mirek is Czech but not pale and skinny at all. No, not at all. Quite the opposite, in fact. He proved this twice on Sunday evening and once on Monday morning. I could barely walk by Monday afternoon. Not really!
It was more like Monday evening that I was walking normally again. My jaw still aches though.
On Monday it rained and rain means it must be the annual Central Admin Garden Party in Somerville College (by kind permission of the Principal and Fellows). I lasted for all of 10 minutes. The 'party' was in a marquee which was too small so some people had to go to a room in another quad. There were strawberries, elderflower cordial, juice and fake champagne. We had to wear name badges (probably as the Clerical/Ancillary staff can't be trusted to behave properly and would probably drink until they passed out and would need to be identified and, let's face it, one chav in a drunken stupor looks like the next chav in a drunken stupor). I was approached by many people saying "thank you for your email, it was very informative" or "thank you for being so helpful in the matter of xyz...". In reply, I had to say "so, you're the stupid bint who can't do her job and needs me to do it for her" or "isn't that top rather low-cut for work?".
The only consolation is that people had to stand outside the marquee to smoke and they got terribly wet and there is nothing like a soaking wet common person wearing polyester to brighten my day.
After my 10 minutes at the 'party' I legged it to Magdalen to have dinner with Sophia, Barnaby and Alexandra. Alex and I had a drink at the King's Arms afterwards where we were joined by Marik and his Czech mate (see what I did there?). Alex was well up for a threesome with me and Marik but I couldn't do it. Looking into Alex's face as I brought her to orgasm would have been weird. Despite what she says. Yuck.
Currently listening to: Beyond the Sea by Bobby Darin
:-(
Alexandra has gone to Geneva for 3 weeks. That sucks, man.
Big Straight Phil has gone to the Netherlands for 1 week. That sucks, man.
Big Straight Phil's less straight little brother ('Dave', we call him) is going to Japan to train as a Geisha. That sucks, man.
BUT,
:-)
Hot Bescher will be in London this weekend! And that is wonderful.
I'm going to Prague with Hot Bescher! And that is wonderful.
I'm going to Geneva to visit Alexandra! And that is wonderful.
I love Prague and have never been to Geneva so I'm very excited. Hopefully, we'll meet up with Matt who's been in Prague for 18 months or so teaching English. I say 'English' but he's from Wrexham so it might be more accurate to say that he is teaching some approximation of English. There are some things not even a Cambridge education can cure you of and I'm afraid being from Wrexham is one such affliction.
I had the most tedious lunch today. I was on my way to Magdalen as usual when I bumped into Mark T from Keble College, Oxford. I asked if he wanted to come to lunch too. I owed him a meal as he took me and Johnny to Formal Hall 2 years ago. I'd not seen him very much since. Probably because he described me and Johnny (not 'Johnny and I', you Americans) as being Cowardesque. As in Noel Coward not lacking in courage. Also, he smells perpetually of damp. Anyway, he's always down on Oxford saying how elitist this is or that is or how silly it is to wear gowns or how black tie events are outdated. I mean, what a cock. What an utter cock.
Now listening to Oh Mandy by The Spinto Band.
Currently wearing: black pointy shoes, black jeans, white shirt, sweat patches under my arms.
As if. You KNOW I don't perspire. Ever.
The Ball was good but not great. For that price, you'd have gotten something wwwaaaayyy better in Cambridge. Plastic champagne glasses?! I mean, what is the point? We might as well have knocked back Styrofoam cups of the stuff.
Went to the Ball with Sophia on one arm and James up my ass. Not really, but it felt like it. That Sophia has a really tight grip.
The food was crap and ran out quickly, there WAS lots of booze though but nowhere to sit and you know a Ball isn't very good when the bumper cars (dodgems?) and the fireworks are the highlight of the night. The musical act was Pharrell Williams who was surprisingly well mannered and polite. You know, given that he's, erm, you know...
There was also some band whose name I can't remember and they were good too. Really fucking hot...
Anyway, survivors' photo was at 6am, staggered home with my Molton Brown goodie bag and collapsed in a heap, looking resplendent but spent.
Met up with Mirek that evening for a stroll and a snooze beneath at tree in New College and made plans to meet up the following day which we did. Mirek is Czech but not pale and skinny at all. No, not at all. Quite the opposite, in fact. He proved this twice on Sunday evening and once on Monday morning. I could barely walk by Monday afternoon. Not really!
It was more like Monday evening that I was walking normally again. My jaw still aches though.
On Monday it rained and rain means it must be the annual Central Admin Garden Party in Somerville College (by kind permission of the Principal and Fellows). I lasted for all of 10 minutes. The 'party' was in a marquee which was too small so some people had to go to a room in another quad. There were strawberries, elderflower cordial, juice and fake champagne. We had to wear name badges (probably as the Clerical/Ancillary staff can't be trusted to behave properly and would probably drink until they passed out and would need to be identified and, let's face it, one chav in a drunken stupor looks like the next chav in a drunken stupor). I was approached by many people saying "thank you for your email, it was very informative" or "thank you for being so helpful in the matter of xyz...". In reply, I had to say "so, you're the stupid bint who can't do her job and needs me to do it for her" or "isn't that top rather low-cut for work?".
The only consolation is that people had to stand outside the marquee to smoke and they got terribly wet and there is nothing like a soaking wet common person wearing polyester to brighten my day.
After my 10 minutes at the 'party' I legged it to Magdalen to have dinner with Sophia, Barnaby and Alexandra. Alex and I had a drink at the King's Arms afterwards where we were joined by Marik and his Czech mate (see what I did there?). Alex was well up for a threesome with me and Marik but I couldn't do it. Looking into Alex's face as I brought her to orgasm would have been weird. Despite what she says. Yuck.
Currently listening to: Beyond the Sea by Bobby Darin
:-(
Alexandra has gone to Geneva for 3 weeks. That sucks, man.
Big Straight Phil has gone to the Netherlands for 1 week. That sucks, man.
Big Straight Phil's less straight little brother ('Dave', we call him) is going to Japan to train as a Geisha. That sucks, man.
BUT,
:-)
Hot Bescher will be in London this weekend! And that is wonderful.
I'm going to Prague with Hot Bescher! And that is wonderful.
I'm going to Geneva to visit Alexandra! And that is wonderful.
I love Prague and have never been to Geneva so I'm very excited. Hopefully, we'll meet up with Matt who's been in Prague for 18 months or so teaching English. I say 'English' but he's from Wrexham so it might be more accurate to say that he is teaching some approximation of English. There are some things not even a Cambridge education can cure you of and I'm afraid being from Wrexham is one such affliction.
I had the most tedious lunch today. I was on my way to Magdalen as usual when I bumped into Mark T from Keble College, Oxford. I asked if he wanted to come to lunch too. I owed him a meal as he took me and Johnny to Formal Hall 2 years ago. I'd not seen him very much since. Probably because he described me and Johnny (not 'Johnny and I', you Americans) as being Cowardesque. As in Noel Coward not lacking in courage. Also, he smells perpetually of damp. Anyway, he's always down on Oxford saying how elitist this is or that is or how silly it is to wear gowns or how black tie events are outdated. I mean, what a cock. What an utter cock.
Now listening to Oh Mandy by The Spinto Band.
Currently wearing: black pointy shoes, black jeans, white shirt, sweat patches under my arms.
As if. You KNOW I don't perspire. Ever.
posted by OrlandoCatastrophic at Wednesday, June 28, 2006
1 Comments:
But Dave will look so good in a silk Kimono...
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