I rose again from the dead...

Yeah, yeah...I haven't posted in ages, so here you go.

The flight to Toronto was bizarre. There were so many people in wheeled chairs that I had to ask the stewardess, "excuse me, is this flight going to Lourdes or Toronto?". Instead of smiling sweetly, she practically snarled at me. Fucking bitch.
The flight itself was uneventful. 18 channels to choose from and the best things on were Little Britain (hilarious but one I'd seen) and Pride and Prejudice. Good, but I could have done without seeing it again. I had no choice but to get tipsy.

Toronto. 'nuff said.

The flight back was special. For the first time ever, there were HOT stewards on board. The Purser was so tanned that he looked like a kipper but fortunately, he was attending to the chavs in First Class. The hot stewards were truly hot. A scally with tattoos and shaven head, a swarthy Spaniard, and a slightly mincy Essex person. Hot, Hot, Hot. There was also a gayboy couple sitting behind me and quite possibly one of the hottest people I've seen in a while sitting in my row. His HOTNESS dissipated when he covered himself with the blanket (like a granny) and put on the eyeshades (like a freak). Still, it didn't stop me from staring and having dirty thoughts. Besides, with the fucking eyeshade on, it's not like he could have seen me staring. He was also wearing one of those yellow rubber 'Live Strong' things on his wrist. That would have put me off immediately if the blanket and eyeshade hadn't.

Had cocktails with Phil (BSP) at the Duke yesterday. It was heaving with homos. Then off to Pierre Victoire for a cheap meal. Very cheap. Very, very, cheap. Then the King's Arms where we were joined by BSP's less straight brother, his rower mate and Charlie and his mate, who was lovely. For a rank female.

Awfully hungover this morning though.

Currently listening to: Don't Take it Personal by The Spinto Band.

Things that are taking up a lot of time at present:
-work
-facebook
-msn
-Renaissance Literature
-eating
-drinking
-porn (watching, not making. But that may be about to change)
-writing (for pleasure, not work)
-lounging in cafes
-learning Latin
-learning web design

Now listening to: Blue Prints by The Dust Jackets

Currently wearing: black skinny jeans, green t-shirt, black sweater, black pointy shoes, supercilious expression, a weary air.

Whilst I LOVE going abroad for holidays, the time difference always wrecks havoc on my bowel movements. I'm ordinarily (and believe me, there's nothing ordinary about me) a once a day man. That is, I have 1 bowel movement per day. In the morning. BEFORE having a shower. Now, in Toronto, I was up to two per day. Two shits per day = 2 showers per day. I don't mind two showers per day and most days, have two showers per day. But I like my shower times to be chose by me, not dictated by my bowel movements. It's a worry. It also leads to dry skin and chaffing. I'm still on Toronto time which is 5 hours behind GMT so I need to have a dump around mid day GMT (approx. 7am Toronto time). This in turn means legging it home to have a dump and a shower OR having a dump in the office and then legging it home to have a shower. That too, is sub-ideal. It's hard being me. I might petition the Estates people to install a shower in the building. Gawd knows we need one. Some of the people who cycle to work are incredibly whiffy. Passing them on the stairs is always an ordeal. I almost fainted yesterday. Fortunately I was able to clutch the bannister and stagger up the stairs.

SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER!

Now listening to: Remember me by British Sea Power